My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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