dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
