Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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