i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
