the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
