Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
