who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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