we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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