I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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