Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
