We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize