my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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