Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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