You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
