I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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