I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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