Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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