Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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