really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
