Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
