Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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