I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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