what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
