how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
