youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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