the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
