I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
