Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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