I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
last night I used snow as a chaser
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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