My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
