awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
