on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
