So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize