we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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