You don't have asthma, your pregnant
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
