The maid of honor just puked.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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