so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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