Fuck appropriateness.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
