Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
