Farmville is her only friend.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
