You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You made out with two different species that night
The feeling are messing with the penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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