Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
