Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
