used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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