she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
