Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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