She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
