Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating

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(416): View more from Ontario

Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me

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(972): View more from Texas

The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

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(914): View more from New York

Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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(301): View more from Maryland

He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...

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(503): View more from Oregon

There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now

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