she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
