is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
