Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
