I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.