Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.