For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.