Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize