"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
