dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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