He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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