Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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