And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
