Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
