I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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