I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
