you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize