No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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