i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
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after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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