; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If that was your dad, he is hot
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
